Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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