this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
