As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
