thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
