even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish you could order shots online.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
