WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
