were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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