Do vagina's smell?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
