no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize