ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
