Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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