If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
