wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
