Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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