The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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