I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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