My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
