Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
