So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
