I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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