We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
