Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a hot homeless man
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
