how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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