giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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