Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
