Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
