is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
