Pappa wants mamma naked
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
