everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
