Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize