So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
