if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
