but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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