Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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