True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
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It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
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Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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