p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
