If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
