i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
