People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
