And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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