can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
