Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
