How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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