My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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