You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
