oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
