he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
