I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
