I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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