If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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