How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
