fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
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I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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