I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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