He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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