i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize