the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize