So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
