Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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