It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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