I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
