Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
