why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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