I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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