just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
