it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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