Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
