She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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