I'm lost and stupid without you.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
