so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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